(It was either this, or a picture of me with my head in the toilet. You're welcome.) So, last night, surrounded by those I love, I reached the very lowest of lows: I wet myself on the couch. Yup, you heard me right. It wasn't my three-yr-old, but thirty-three-yr-old me.
One of the hardest things about my pregnancies (warning: whining and complaining will certainly ensue) is that I lose control of my body. It's a hard thing to come to terms with. I'm constantly fighting nausea and exhaustion; my left breast is two cups larger than my right, due to a lactating benign growth that causes throbbing and shooting pains; I throw up most evenings; I'm not good for anything past 7PM (sorry, baby); my arse becomes extremely ginormous without the possibility of exercise (sorry again); and oh, yes, I pee my pants a few times a week. It's a humbling process, to let go, to let the pregnancy do its thing, especially when I have a life to lead and I know plenty of women who multiply the earth without such discomforts.
What's the secret? How do you learn to live with discomfort without incurring resentment or bitterness? And have I mentioned yet that I'm NEVER doing this again?! I need to remind myself, and often, that this too will pass and there are many who are burdened with far worse, who get absolutely nothing in the end, no treat, no baby. So, don't let me complain again, just don't let me. Chin up, Ann.
4 comments:
Oh, Ann. You have such a way with words. I can tell you that I agree--it is hard to let go and lose control. Humbling. I'm to the point now where I'm afraid to be in public, because at any moment I may have a contraction that will make me pee my pants. I guess the only thing we CAN do is learn to laugh our way through it. Good luck with the challenging months ahead. I'll be thinking of you.
Annie, hang in there! You are the best! Thanks for helping with the party for Craig on Friday, it was a great day for him. So when do you find out if it is a boy or a girl??? My bet is a boy!
awesome
i hear you, friend, i hear you.
and with every one it's worse. . . it definitely helps to have a spouse that at least lets you complain. because there is just nothing else like it. now i am in the final weeks and even though my pelvis is in constant pain and i can't sleep at night, i still remember those early days of morning sickness (and everything that goes along with it) and say that is much worse than this. the only thing to hang on to is the fact that it won't last forever. . . make a paper chain, friend. will be thinking of you. . .
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